Israeli gays ‘come out’ earlier | JPost

[SOURCE]

The number of Israeli lesbian, gay and bisexual teens who identify their sexual leanings and “come out” to their family and friends has grown dramatically in the past two decades, with the average age dropping from 25 in 1991 to 16 in 2010, according to Tel Aviv University researchers.

In a new study published in the journal Family Relations on the stress factors and the mental health of sexual minorities, Dr. Guy Shilo of TAU’s Bob Shapell School of Social Work reported that family support and acceptance is becoming increasingly essential for LGB youth. “Family support is a crucial variable in the mental health of young LGBs, higher than peer support,” wrote Shilo, noting that it is difficult for LGB teens to separate themselves from unsupportive families because they are still dependent on them for their welfare.

Shilo and his colleague Prof. Riki Savaya conducted a study of 461 self-identified LGB youth aged 16 to 23 to examine how stress related to being part of a minority group was impacting their mental health. To determine stress levels, the researchers questioned participants on how they felt about their family, friends and peer support, as well as their connection to the LGB community for emotional support. Participants were evaluated for mental distress and feelings of well-being – the polar negative and positive of mental health.

While peer support certainly had an impact on the mental health of participants, the researchers discovered that family support was more central to their sense of well-being.

A lack of family support was found to significantly heighten mental distress among the study participants, which can lead to depression.

In addition, they found that family acceptance had the strongest positive impact on self-acceptance of sexual orientation.

Adult LGBs who lack the support of their families, explained Shilo, often react by leaving their families behind. They build separate lives that can include “families of choice,” where peer groups – mainly from the LGB community – form an alternative family structure and give each other the same emotional support and sense of belonging that a family is meant to provide. But this is not always a viable option at a younger age.

Today, more adolescents are open about their sexual orientation – and the younger they are, the more important family connections tend to be, wrote Shilo, who works with Beit Dror, a shelter for runaway LGB youth in central Tel Aviv supported by the municipality and the Welfare and Social Services Ministry and the Israel Gay Youth Organization.

The average 16-year-old is still in school and depends on family for financial support, food and shelter. “They can’t just get up and go.”

The tendency of LGBs to come out earlier in life derives from social and cultural progress, concluded Shilo. Most adult LGBs knew they were homosexual or bisexual at the age of nine or 10, he maintained. “The increasing respect and recognition of the rights of sexual minorities have provided the encouragement to ‘come out’ at an earlier age,” he wrote.

John Searle: No regrets, just pride and gratitude | AJN

18 Nov 2011
The Australian Jewish News Melbourne edition
JOHN SEARLE
John Searle is the outgoing president of the JCCV.

No regrets, just pride and gratitude

VIEWPOINT

THREE years ago, I was elected president of the Jewish Community Council of Victoria (JCCV). While I’d been involved with that and other organisations for more than three decades, I nevertheless felt the transition to being the voice of the organisation that is the “voice of our community” to be a serious responsibility. Being required to fairly represent the multitude of opinions of our diverse community is perhaps “mission impossible”, and certainly a significant challenge.

Photo: Peter Haskin Top man: John Searle (centre) with Victorian Premier Ted Baillieu (left) and Zionist Council of Victoria president Sam Tatarka.

During this time, many people have asked me the burning question: “Why”? Now I am greeted with “Aren’t you happy it’s over?” or more positively “Are you glad you took it on?” These are all versions of the same question and point to the hesitation of many to take on voluntary leadership roles within our community, or in other not-for-profit endeavours.

For me, the why was never in question: I believe in the importance of our community being united, strong, respected and having self-respect. I am passionate about Jewish continuity and determined to play my role, in whatever way I can, rather than leaving the responsibility to others. The real questions were only where and how.

Without dedication, commitment and passion, without fire in your belly, you can’t be an effective leader in any field. Being a community leader makes you community property. You will – whether you want it or not – receive praise, advice, criticism and even abuse for decisions or statements you make. I take that as evidence that people care about the community, and that they also want to have their say.

Whatever I may have given through these past three years, I feel I’ve received so much more in return. There is a great deal of satisfaction in knowing that I, together with my organisation, have made a difference in a positive way, not just for people in our community but beyond as well.

On the way to the AGM in 2008, my daughter warned me in no uncertain terms that I was not to lose the election … particularly as I was the only candidate!

I smile at this recollection for two reasons. First, this year there is a contest for the positions on the JCCV. I see this as a great success. In the three years of my term, interest in and attention to the JCCV has increased both outside and within the community, and many good and talented people are keen to become involved.

Second, this memory brings into focus that date, the ideas, plans and visions I had. We have achieved much in three years, tackling difficult issues within our community and between our community and others. From GLBT, youth-alcohol and interfaith issues, to working with government, police and other organisations on matters such as Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions, the JCCV is in the forefront of Jewish affairs in this state.

As I step down from this role, I do so with a feeling of great pride and gratitude to the community for trusting me to be your voice and your leader. I urge you all to take your ideas and use them for the community’s benefit – as a leader or volunteer in an organisation that fits your passions.

“Jewish Gentle” and Other Stories of Gay-Jewish Living

Jewish Gentle” and Other Stories
of Gay-Jewish Living
is hot off the presses!!!!

Jewish Gentle
Jewish Gentle” and Other Stories of Gay-Jewish Living explores various aspects of gay-Jewish life: coming out to self and family; (re)defining one’s relationship to tradition and faith; surviving child abuse and teenage sexual identity angst; experiencing the adult joys and heartbreaks of dating, of forming relationships, and of losing them; coping with HIV/AIDS; considering parenting; and dealing with old age.
Mirroring the diversity within contemporary American Jewish life, the main characters in these 24 stories are Jewish, but in various ways—some wrestle with religion, others with their place in tradition and community. Yet for other characters here, Jewish identity is not at issue in the pursuit of happiness, love, and inner peace; rather, Jewishness is a cornerstone given, a foundational lens through which these characters see and examine the world and self.
**

 

From the Introduction by Andrew Ramer:
We know the territory that Jaffe writes in—lush, stark, unexpected, a Jordan flowing through it with Real on one bank and Dream on the other. Jaffe is not afraid to write about violence, or blasphemy, sometimes comically and sometimes horrifically….you are holding in your hands this new book of his. Where fractured novel and story collection are Velcroed to the music he composes, his Torah of the moment, the stories of our gay queer Jewish lives, seen and reseen, heard and reheard, with a lush orchestra of lived experience playing in the background. A collection of stories that could be a novel, the sections of a novel shuffled like a deck of cards. A lush Jewish gamelan for queer ears, queer hearts, queer minds. And otherwise.”
**
“Jaffe tells it like it is and while his writing is beautifully sublime, his plots are unexpected. Nothing scares Jaffe and he writes about what he feels and what he feels like– be it violent or even blasphemous…. we have his writings to cast a glow on our lives. He gives us songs of life…and as we read we hear his gorgeous symphony in our minds. I wanted to get up and dance because the music/writing moved me so.” From a review by Amos Lassen.
Available in paperback or e-book format at Amazon.com: