My story: coming out as trans | Star Observer

My story: coming out as trans

To mark the end of Mental Health Week and yesterday’s National Coming Out Day, Marco Fink pens a piece in which she comes out as trans, after realising she is not alone and that support is always available.
Marco Fink — October 12, 2014
Marco Fink

YESTERDAY, I told the world that I’m a girl.

First, through a conversation with my parents, second by a Facebook post, and now via this article.

I’ve been thinking for a long time about the right way to talk to everyone about something so big. It’s taken me a long time and a lot of figuring out, but I’m ready and I want to be open and honest.

Growing up, everyone always said to “be a man” and others always told me I was a boy. Even though I didn’t always feel as though it really fit or felt right, I went along with it anyway.

As I got older I started to figure things out more. I was probably about 10 or 11 when I discovered the idea of a “transgender” person.

I was pretty freaked out. All the transphobia and horrible stereotypes I saw on TV and in movies had given me a pretty warped idea of what it meant to be trans*, and as an 11-year-old kid it was overwhelming. I hated it.

I buried my feelings and tried to make myself forget. It was the only way I could cope. I figured denial was easier, pretending I was fine and just forcing myself to power through. My logic was maybe if I ignored it and tried to force myself to “be a man”, maybe eventually I’d just “learn” to be like everyone else.

That didn’t work. Maybe for a few months, even sometimes a year or two, I’d be okay, but it would always come back. I’ve never been able to shake it.

When I was younger, I struggled with depression for many years, and like anyone battling mental health problems, I had some dark and low moments. Then one day one of my friends came out as a trans man. I’d met him through Minus18 a few years back at one of their summer social events. He was a year older than me and a close friend, I really looked up to him.

It was the first time I’d actually knowingly met another trans* person.

All the misconceptions I had about what it meant to be trans started melting away. My friend was still the same nice, kind, funny person as always. The only thing that changed was the name and pronouns we used when talking about him.

Up until that moment I hadn’t been able to accept myself. I had refused to accept myself because that meant admitting I was “different”. I thought it meant being alone. I thought it meant being excluded and mocked. But watching people love and accept my friend for who he was changed everything. It showed me how wrong I was about it all.

It hadn’t even occurred to me that my friends wouldn’t reject me, that society wouldn’t despise me, that my family would maybe even be able to accept me, just like his family did.

For LGBT youth it seems that that’s always the hardest part; feeling alone and isolated. So many people aren’t even aware of just how many other people are out there that can relate and share similar stories.

I found these stories by joining Minus18. It changed my life, and suddenly I was exposed to hundreds of other young people who “just got it”, who could help me through everything, and who would rebuild my confidence.

Marco Fink
Marco Fink

I finally worked up the courage to come out this week. I’d been waiting eagerly for National Coming Out Day.

My parents were shocked for sure, but they told me they loved me no matter what. The reactions on Facebook have been just as incredible. It’s been so freeing to finally be able to be myself and tell the world this is the girl I’m meant to be.

The sense of community and support Minus18 has given me has been enormous, and has provided that for thousands of other LGBT young people all over Victoria and Australia.

Sadly, the incredible support and love I’ve received by coming out as trans* isn’t the norm for Australian youth. With 66 per cent of gender-diverse and trans* young people experiencing transphobic abuse, there’s still such a long way to go before we can say they’re safe.

Minus18’s next big step, the Atrium, is a safe space where young people can meet other LGBT youth. It’s a space where young people come from all over Melbourne can come and be themselves. If I can provide just one more trans* young person with the amazing, supportive space that I was given, it’ll be the most incredible thing in the world.

Marco Fink is the Communications Manager at Minus18, Australia’s National Organisation for LGBT youth. She’s been involved with the organisation for four years, working on written resources, campaigns, and videos to help support LGBT young people like herself. Follow her on Twitter: @marcofink

CLICK HERE to make a donation to Minus18’s crowdfunding campaign for the Atrium.

Media Release: Over 100 Schools have joined Safe Schools Coalition Victoria!

Safe Schools Coalition Victoria

Media Release                                                
For immediate distribution – please on forward
Monday 16th April 2013

Over 100 Schools have joined Safe Schools Coalition Victoria!

Safe Schools Coalition Victoria have welcomed their 100 and 101st new member schools this month. Glen Eira College and Elwood College joined on the same day to push the membership into 3 figures! The news was greeted with cheers from over 400 young people when it was announced at the Same Sex Formal on Saturday night (April 6th). The highly popular event, organised by Minus18 in partnership with Safe Schools Coalition Victoria aimed to create a safe, supportive and celebratory space for same sex attracted young people and their friends, whilst also raising awareness of inclusion at school formals more generally.

Since launching in October 2010, support for the coalition has continued to increase throughout the state. The program has delivered professional learning sessions with over 2,500 school staff across Victoria, and reached thousands of students through school based projects and partnerships. It has also distributed thousands of information booklets, posters, and stickers to school staff and students.

Safe Schools Coalition Victoria is funded by the Victorian Department of Education and Early Childhood Development and the Department of Health. Based at Gay and Lesbian Health Victoria at La Trobe University, research is used to make sure that training and resources are high quality and relevant to the broader education framework.

The coalition aims to create school environments ‘where every family can belong, where every teacher can teach and every student can learn’. Government schools in Victoria have a positive duty to support sexual diversity, and ensure that there is no homophobic or transphobic bullying or discrimination.

Roz Ward, co-founder and co-ordinator of the coalition said;

“It is very exciting to welcome our 100th school to the coalition. When we launched back in 2010 nobody quite knew just how popular the coalition would become.

We have received so much positive feedback; we just know this is making a difference to students all across Victoria, and in all different kinds of schools.

The cheers from students at the same sex formal to this news, just shows how important this initiative has been in giving young people the confidence to just  be themselves. We want everyone at school to feel like they belong, and whatever their gender or sexuality, they are valued as part of the community”

— Ends —

Roz Ward, Coordinator of Safe Schools Coalition Victoria is available for interview.

T: 03 9285 5131 | M: 0450 319952 | E: r.ward@latrobe.edu.au

CHECK OUT OUR NEW WEBSITE: www.sscv.org.au

Roz Ward
Youth Programs, Gay and Lesbian Health Victoria
Australian Research Centre in Sex, Health and Society
La Trobe University, 215 Franklin Street, Melbourne 3000
T:03 9285 5131 F:03 9285 5220
E: r.ward@latrobe.edu.au

Safe Schools Coalition Victoria

Gay Abandon – Jewish leader slams anti-bullying campaign | Melbourne mX

Front cover of the Melbourne mX, February 15, 2012.

[PDF]

Gay abandonJewish leader slams anti-bullying campaign
Nadia Salemme

Anti-bullying programs for gay teens
have been criticised by a Jewish leader
who says they are ‘‘unethical’’ and may
‘‘encourage homosexuality’’.

Rabbi Dr Shimon Cowen’s comments
have been slammed by gay and lesbian
lobby groups, which have labelled them
‘‘damaging’’ and ‘‘irresponsible’’.

Cowen, a Monash University academic
and the son of former governor general
the late Sir Zelman Cowen, has
hit out at Safe Schools Coalition Victoria’s
program supporting gender
and sexual diversity in schools.

He said it was ‘‘using bullying as a
pretext to teach all school children that
homosexual conduct is equally normative
with heterosexual conduct’’.

‘‘This program could in fact cultivate
and encourage homosexuality amongst
many children who would ordinarily
grow into heterosexual lifestyles.

‘‘The bullying of homosexually inclined
children should be stopped
and it should be stopped by a process
which eliminates all kinds of bullying.

‘‘What the program wants to do is
tackle bullying by celebrating homosexuality
as one form of legitimate human
expression. To eliminate bullying
does not require that.

‘‘Let’s say a child was being bullied
because the child was fat, you don’t
have to celebrate obesity.’’

Cowen said he had ‘‘nothing against
people with homosexual inclinations’’
and wanted ‘‘a full parliamentary debate’’
into programs in schools.

But Safe Schools Coalition Victoria
co-ordinator Roz Ward said the comments
were ‘‘offensive’’.

‘‘The program has been widely well
received and is having an impact in
schools to reduce bullying and I just
think these kinds of comments are
unfounded,’’ Ward said.

‘‘It sounds like something you might
have heard in the 1950s.’’

Micah Scott, general manager of youth
gay and lesbian support centre Minus
18, said the view was ‘‘damaging’’.

‘‘Same-sex attracted young people
are . . . already a vulnerable group due
to homophobia,’’ Scott, 23, said.

It comes as Kath & Kim actor Magda
Szubanski, who publicly came out yesterday,
admitted she was suicidal as a
teenager.

‘‘I know how those kids feel, believe
me, I know how those kids feel,’’
Szubanski told 3AW today.