Supporting Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Intersex & Queer people in Melbourne's Jewish community. Founded 1995.
Sydney’s Jewish LGBTIQ group Dayenu’s inaugural float “Stars of David Come Out” at Mardi Gras, March 4 2000.
Dayenu’s “Stars of David Come Out” at Sydney Mardi Gras, Saturday March 4 2000.
Reproduction permitted for any pro-LGBTIQ use; name credit requested to Michael Barnett.
Source: ABC Radio National – Life Matters: Remembering 40 years of Mardi Gras
Over the past four decades, the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras has turned into a huge celebration, giving people the chance to celebrate their identities.
Jewish members of the LGBTI community have marched in the parade for years, but it wasn’t until the year 2000 that they decided to create a huge float to stand out from the crowd.
Dawn Cohen, one of the coordinators of the Jewish Pride float, remembers it as a “damn scary” time, but one she is proud to have been part of.
“It’s an incredible privilege to see social change, and to know I played a tiny little role in that,” she says.
“I feel so proud of the Australian Jewish community, the Australian gay community and of Australia itself. We bet our lives on you, and we won that bet.”
As Sydney gears up for today’s parade, listen to Dawn Cohen reflect on Jewish Pride.
20 December 2017
January 1995 saw the formation of a social group for gay Jewish men in Melbourne. The group was called Aleph Melbourne, to be distinct from the now long-defunct Aleph Sydney.
The need for a separate men’s group was due to the existence of the Jewish Lesbian Group of Victoria, formed in 1992. It was JLGV’s desire to remain women-only, so Aleph filled the niche for men.
In the early years Aleph convened in private houses, had a committee, a meet-and-greet arrangement for new members, and a busy calendar of events.
Aleph was promoted through a small advert in the Jewish News, and also word of mouth.
I helped set up the first web page and email address for Aleph, both hosted on the then-popular Geocities service offered by Yahoo.
Due to a change in the group’s leadership in the late 1990s the committee decided to hold monthly drop-in meetings at the premises of the Victorian AIDS Council, then at 6 Claremont Street, South Yarra. The drop-in nights were a success for a long time, however dwindling attendance saw an end to these meetings in 1999.
Toward the latter half of 1998 the committee decided to apply for membership of the Jewish Community Council of Victoria, in an effort to increase awareness in the Jewish community of issues that gay and bisexual men faced. Such issues included social isolation, discrimination, HIV/AIDS, and the emerging awareness of negative mental health outcomes and suicide.
In May 1999 our membership application failed to receive the two-thirds majority vote required from the council’s membership. To say our application for membership was controversial was an understatement, as it attracted front-page news, heated debate and full letter columns in the Jewish News for weeks and weeks.
Aleph felt the white-hot anger of the Orthodox leadership for daring to stand up for our individuality and acceptance. We also discovered there was a ground-swell of acceptance from many socially inclusive organisations, most notably the Progressive Jewish community, along with a large number of high school students, Zionist youth organisations and university students.
The rejection of our application by the JCCV took a huge toll on our small group which led to the committee folding and the group going into hiatus. However I felt that the need for the group was still strong and maintained a vigilant telephone and email presence.
Operating on a shoestring budget, we continued holding functions in private homes and offered support as best as we could.
Around 2007 we felt that continuing on as a gay and bisexual men’s group was marginalising those in the community who were transgender and so after consulting our membership we elected to become fully inclusive, accepting anyone with a Jewish identity as a member, irrespective of sexual orientation, gender identity or intersex status.
We also noticed a need to cater specifically to Jewish youth and so Young Aleph was formed in 2007. A dynamic leadership team and fun events saw packed attendances for weeks and weeks. Young Aleph was a hugely successful experiment that ran until approximately 2009.
The shooting at the Tel Aviv LGBT Centre on August 1 2009 was a turning point for Aleph Melbourne. The now-dormant Melbourne-based AJN Watch blog wrote some hideous commentary about this event, degrading and vilifying gay men in the process. As an advocacy group, Aleph Melbourne reached out to the JCCV and asked for their help to combat this intolerance.
Whilst no practical support was initially forthcoming, the JCCV eventually succumbed to strong pressure from Aleph Melbourne and in late 2009 formed a reference group to start investigating the needs of LGBTIQ Jews. The JCCV has since become an advocate for LGBTIQ inclusion and awareness.
Over the years Aleph Melbourne has attended Pride March, Mardi Gras, In One Voice / Concert in the Park, International Holocaust Remembrance Day events, and the Midsumma Festival.
We made a documentary in 2016 commemorating our 20 year anniversary (1995-2015). This short film has screened in many film festivals around Australia and overseas. Most notably it was included in the Belfast Human Rights Film Festival and the prestigious St Kilda Film Festival.
Whilst Aleph Melbourne has provided a safe space for same-sex attracted Jews for many years now, most recently we have seen an increase in the need for support for transgender and gender-diverse people.
Statements calling for respect for LGBTIQ people together with statements of support for marriage equality, from organisations like the JCCV, Maccabi Victoria and the National Council of Jewish Women, have paved the way for a greater level of acceptance for LGBTIQ people.
Aleph Melbourne continues to offer a home for those Jews who do not identify as heterosexual, who do not identify with the gender they were assigned at birth, or who may identify outside the gender-binary.
The tide has turned in the Jewish community. We have come a long way since 1995 and look forward to an exciting 2018 and beyond.
Michael Barnett
Co-Convenor – Aleph Melbourne
J-Wire posted a story “Mardi Gras rocks” about Sydney’s GLBTIQ group Dayenu‘s participation in the Mardi Gras Parade. The following comment by Gil Solomon was approved by the J-Wire editor:
I don’t see a “Sydney Catholic GLBT Group” float (or any other denomination for that matter) so why do Jews have to overtly see the need to show to the world that they are both gay and Jewish?
The Jewish world has enough problems to contend with and I, being politically incorrect, categorically state I couldn’t care less what you people do behind closed doors but why do you see the need to hit us in the face that you’re a bunch of Jews. Go join some other float, as it nauseates me to think that you lot seem to think the Jewish community as a whole supports your blatant display of your sexual orientation.
I repeat, I couldn’t care less what you people do, but I am offended by the fact that you give your sexual preference a Jewish dimension.
Aleph Melbourne called for the NSW Jewish Board of Deputies, the Executive Council of Australian Jewry and prominent anti-homophobia advocate, the Jewish Community Council of Victoria, to respond to this homophobic message:
Let's hear a response from @jccvic @ecajewry @VicAlhadeff to this vile homophobic comment posted on @j_wire. #dayenu pic.twitter.com/4ZTEMsTPIW
— Aleph Melbourne (@alephmelbourne) March 3, 2014
Jo Silver from the JCCV posted this comment in response:
The Jewish Community Council of Victoria (JCCV) is proud to host a GLBTI Reference Group and support the No to Homophobia Campaign.
It’s wonderful to see that people feel ‘safe’ enough to openly participate in the Mardi Gras and express their unique Jewish identity as well. Well done!
The Reference Group is focused on raising awareness in our community that hurtful comments and nasty jibes can cause depression, anxiety and other well being issues for our GLBTI members. We are all people with feelings and emotions and we all have the right to open our door every day and face the world without feeling harassed.
A futher tweet from Aleph Melbourne reiterated the request for the ECAJ and NSW JBD to speak out:
Thanks @jccvic for standing up to #homophobia. Will NSW JBD's @VicAlhadeff & @ECAJewry condemn this hate too? pic.twitter.com/0cWNZokXvn
— Aleph Melbourne (@alephmelbourne) March 3, 2014
ECAJ advised on Twitter that their response had been posted as a comment on J-Wire by their Public Affairs Director Alex Ryvchin:
@alephmelbourne @jccvic Please see the comment posted by our Public Affairs Director @AlexRyvchin.
— ECAJ (@ECAJewry) March 3, 2014
The comment appeared on J-Wire accordingly:
Dear Gil
If members of the Jewish community wish to participate in the Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras, that is their right. If they wish to do so while openly identifying as Jews, that too is their right. Your comment that “[their] blatant displays of sexual orientation” should “remain behind closed doors” is an attack on their human dignity. It was not so long ago that Jews were being told that their ‘blatant displays’ of religious and national identity should ‘remain behind closed doors’. As neither you nor those you criticise act in any representative capacity, you and they are free to express yourselves as you wish. Australia as a nation has committed itself to mutual respect for the human dignity of all members of the community, despite any strongly held differences; recognition that disagreement is possible in ways that do not vilify other persons or their views; and avoidance of any public or private conduct that incites hatred, ridicule or contempt of another person or class of persons on the ground of their sexual orientation or gender identity. These are values that benefit all of us.”
– Alex Ryvchin
Finally, another call for the NSW JBD to respond:
Thanks @ECAJewry @AlexRyvchin for taking a stand against homophobia, alongside @jccvic. A NSW comment @VicAlhadeff? pic.twitter.com/K1lOiCwdDZ
— Aleph Melbourne (@alephmelbourne) March 3, 2014
Their reply, leaving ample room for improvement, came only by Twitter:
“@alephmelbourne: Thanks @ECAJewry for stand on homophobia,. NSW comment @VicAlhadeff? – As per Board of Deputies policy, we condemn it
— Vic Alhadeff (@VicAlhadeff) March 4, 2014
It’s good to see these three organisations speaking out, to varying degrees, against homophobia and intolerance of homosexuality. They must continue to set a strong and positive example, to the entire Jewish community and to other faith communities, that all discrimination and intolerance is unacceptable.
Finally, take a few minutes to read the comment stream on the J-Wire story. The author of the contentious post unconvincingly attempted to clarify/justify his initial message in follow-up comments. Make of it what you will.
Speech by Rabbi Paul Jacobson at Dayenu’s Mardi Gras Shabbat Dinner, Friday 1st March 2013
Every night before going to sleep, my daughters, like other young children, delight in hearing lullabies. Their latest favourites include “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star,” “Ba Ba Black Sheep,” and “I Can Sing a Rainbow.” Admittedly, Lisa and I first thought that “I Can Sing a Rainbow” was an original tune from the popular children’s show Play School, but the lyrics are attributed to Arthur Hamilton, with the song having been written in 1955.
Red and yellow and pink and green, purple and orange and blue
I can sing a rainbow, sing a rainbow, sing a rainbow too
Listen with your eyes, listen with your ears, and sing everything you see
I can sing a rainbow, sing a rainbow, sing along with me.
While the colours in Hamilton’s song are not necessarily the colours of the rainbow per se, the purpose of the song, when taught to children is to help them name colours, and appreciate the colourful brilliance that fills their world on a daily basis.
Such a reminder has great meaning for each of us. Just this morning, I sat at my computer, looking out the window at a dreary, gray, rain‐filled day. Listen with your eyes. Though there wasn’t much colour to be had in the sky, I still marveled at the different shades of green in the leafy trees outside my window, the way the different coloured buildings glistened in the endless drizzle. I even paused to notice the number of cars passing by on the street – blue, grey, black, silver, dark red, white, fire engine red – a rainbow of colours right before my eyes.
Listen with your ears. From moment to moment, the sound of the rain on the roof of the synagogue shifted and changed, sometimes more intense, sometimes less so. Sometimes the sound of the wind was audible and gusty, other times, calm and still.
And sing everything you see. Tonight, on our Mardi Gras Shabbat, we consider the symbol of the rainbow for other reasons. Since the 1970s, in celebration of the colours of life, lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and intersex communities throughout the world have used a rainbow flag as their symbol. The rainbow is a reminder of the diversity of both the LGBTI community, and of the beauty that can be present when people from all walks of life are embraced by and integrated into community, are respected for their differences, rather than distanced and excluded. The current version of the rainbow flag, also known as the freedom flag, contains six colours symbolizing different values – red for life, orange for healing, yellow for sunlight, green for nature, blue for harmony, and purple for spirit – all colours and values for which each of us strives to cherish, love and protect, day in and day out.
The image of a rainbow is also a powerful symbol in Jewish tradition. After creating the world and destroying it in a great deluge, God presents a rainbow as a sign of the eternal covenant with humanity. Nachmanides, in the 13th century, comments on the shape of the rainbow, saying that if it were an archer’s bow, the position of the bow would mean that the arrow would be pointing toward the heavens, rather than toward the earth. Nachmanides uses the symbol of the rainbow to teach us that God isn’t pointing any arrows toward us, and won’t destroy our world.
But somehow, we humans still have the power to do so much damage, to inflict so much hurt, to cause others unending pain. In lives that are filled with such colour, in lives where we are wowed and amazed by aesthetic magnificence, we still struggle to recognize the colourful brilliance that exists within our community and within each other. In lives that are filled with such colour, we find still that so many people are distanced and excluded from taking a rightful place in the Jewish community and politics still get in the way of love and marriage? In lives that begin with unconditional love, acceptance and being lullabied to sleep with images of beautiful colours, how is it that we learn to hate, to discriminate, and to hurt?
What if we were, instead, to see the rainbow of possibility that exists in each other, and through our words and our deeds, teach others to do similarly? Listen with your eyes and see the beauty, the loving heart, the thoughtful mind, the giving hands of each person in this room, all of us colourful in our own, special, unique ways. Listen with your ears and allow yourself the time to hear each other’s stories, to listen without prejudice, to listen without judgment, to stop and listen and accept, to recognize that there is more to be gained by including colours in the spectrum of our communities, rather than excluding them. And sing everything you see. The vision of Judaism, the vision of covenant, is that where everyone, no matter our differences, is recognized as being created in God’s image. The vision of Judaism, the vision of community is one where see there is abundant love in our congregation, our world, our tradition, love enough for everyone to feel welcomed, included, cherished, sanctified, and blessed.
Red and yellow and pink and green, purple and orange and blue… I can sing a rainbow,
sing a rainbow, sing along with me.
By Michael Barnett
[ First published in the Australian Jewish News 5 March 1999. The float organisers had intended the “Jewish Princesses” to be a mixed gender entry, however for a variety of reasons no women participated on the day. The 14 male participants were from Melbourne, Sydney and Israel. ]
I was a Mardi Gras virgin in 1998, previously only ever having witnessed this eye-opening spectacle from the safety of my family’s lounge-room television in the Melbourne suburb of Doncaster. In fact the very first time I watched the Mardi Gras parade on television I was terrified my family would label me gay by association.
Since then I have come a long way as an individual, having come to terms with my sexuality and identifying as a gay man – a Jewish gay man. Some people I know turn against their Jewish identity in the process of their ‘coming out’ – the discovery or awakening of their sexuality. Instead for me it was a bringing together of two cultures and two communities and a way of life I knew was right for me. No longer would I live a life I knew was a lie – to my family, to my friends and most importantly to myself.
I consider myself enriched for having travelled this path, denying myself neither my Jewish heritage nor my intrinsic sexual self. If I continued along the path of self-denial my being would have shrivelled up and died but instead I have travelled the path of the caterpillar and transformed myself into a beautiful butterfly.
And through this transformation I have vowed to myself that I would do as much as possible to provide an acceptable path for other people to follow who find themselves in a similar situation to myself.
It was during the Mardi Gras parade last year as I watched it pass by in all its spectacle of light, colour, sound, diversity of sexual expression and pride that I decided it was time for a Jewish entry in the parade. This was to be an entry of Jewish pride, for gay men and women, their friends, families and supporters.
Thus ‘Jewish Princesses’ was born. Just as the gay community has its twinks, muscle Marys, leather men, bears and so on, the Jewish community too has its ‘sub-cultures’. And what better one to identify with than the Jewish (Australian) Princesses. She is a Kugel, a Bagel, a maidel and now a faigel.
She is so wonderfully Jewish that it was the obvious choice.
Having spread the word far and wide I gathered together a group of people to march in the 21st Mardi Gras parade in Sydney, February 1999. Purely by coincidence the entry comprised of fourteen gay men and the straight brother of one of the gay men, marching in support. I would have liked to have seen our entry and the Jewish lesbian entry unified in solidarity – perhaps an ideal for Mardi Gras 2000.
Walking along the parade route was the culmination of several months’ hard work not only by myself but from a dedicated group of my peers – without whom this would not have been possible. I was holding my rainbow Magen David high with pride – for myself, my family, my friends and most importantly for the people I knew it would mean the most to – the Jewish men, women, boys, and girls, married and single who know in their hearts that they have a place in the Jewish community and equally in the gay community and can be proud of both without fear of prejudice.
With thanks to Dayenu for originally hosting this story.
Australia’s LGBT community marks a bar mitzvah milestone | Haaretz.
By Dan Goldberg | Mar.04, 2013 | 11:19 AM
Mazel tov! The Jewish float at Sydney’s 2013 Gay & Lesbian Mardi Gras. Photo by Tomer Hasson
It was a bar mitzvah like no other. A throng of Jewish men and women adorned with rainbow-colored prayer shawls and sporting pink kippot danced near the centerpiece of the simcha – a truck decorated with a gigantic Star of David emblazoned with the words “mazel tov.”
Some 10,000 others joined the parade while hundreds of thousands watched, as Australia’s Jewish float marked its coming of age Saturday night at the 2013 Sydney Gay & Lesbian Mardi Gras.
Twenty-four hours earlier, 75 people attended a gay Shabbat dinner at Sydney’s Emanuel Synagogue, which incorporates Conservative, Reform and Renewal congregations, following a special service peppered with readings by gay members to mark the milestone.
Kim Gotlieb, the president of Dayenu, Sydney’s Jewish gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender group, acknowledged the support from Emanuel Synagogue in a letter last week. It is reassuring to know that “we belong to a gay-friendly synagogue which continues to walk beside us in addressing issues of inclusion and acceptance,” he wrote.
Emanuel’s rabbi, Jacqueline Ninio, also made mention of the LGBT community in the congregation’s weekly newsletter, writing: “During the years, we have used the process of interpretation and understanding to reimagine the laws of Judaism to be inclusive and welcoming of gays and lesbians. But there is still a long way to go – both legally and within our culture.”
‘Stars of David Come Out’
Despite Rabbi Ninio’s caveat, most of Sydney’s gay Jews acknowledge their predicament today is a far cry from the first Jewish float at the Mardi Gras in 2000, which featured a three-ton truck adorned with a giant three-dimensional Star of David. The float has been an annual feature since then, with the exception of 2006.
Back then about 150 gay Jews and their supporters, including Holocaust survivor Susie Wise, celebrated alongside the float, under the banner “Stars of David Come Out.”
“We were the Stars of David glowing in the dark of homophobia,” recalled Dawn Cohen, the coordinator of the first Jewish float, in a reflective article. “We’re saying ‘no’ … we’re going to invite you all to work through your internalized anti-Semitism and homophobia and to celebrate with us.”
Cohen and the other founders named themselves “Dayenu,” the Hebrew word for “enough” that is the common refrain of the Passover song of the same name.
However, “Dayenu” was also the response the group received from the Orthodox rabbinate, which was exacerbated by Vic Alhadeff, then editor of the Sydney edition of the Australian Jewish News. Alhadeff published a front-page photo of the first Jewish float on March 10, 2000.
“Of all the controversial positions I took as editor of the Australian Jewish News, the one of which I was proudest was going to the barricades on behalf of the right of Jewish gays to be gay,” Alhadeff told Haaretz this week. “Because I saw the impact it had – on human lives, on families, on individuals, on members of our own community.”
The controversy dominated the newspaper’s pages for weeks, including an ad signed by 28 prominent Australian Jews expressing support for gay Jewish rights and for the newspaper to reflect the community’s diversity.
[Gallery]
Bar mitzvah boys celebrate at the 2013 Sydney Gay & Lesbian Mardi Gras.Tomer Hasson
“Overwhelmingly, the community spoke out in support of the newspaper,” Cohen recalled. “They didn’t want Jewish homosexuals to be invisible. It was not a vote in favor of lesbian and gay marriage, but it was an unprecedented warning to the Orthodox rabbinate about the limits of its control.”
Inevitably, the backlash soon followed. The Sydney Beth Din demanded Alhadeff explain himself at a rabbinic hearing. They also summoned Hilton Immerman, the chief executive of the Shalom Institute – which advances Jewish learning and leadership – for hosting a gay Shabbat on the Friday night before the 2000 Mardi Gras.
Neither Alhadeff nor Immerman agreed. Immerman said he would only consider it “after being able to peruse the charges that a particular individual had brought against us.”
“As these were never forthcoming, we did not appear,” Immerman told Haaretz. “I was lobbied by two or three Orthodox rabbis at the time to cancel the event. I explained that any Jews had the right to celebrate Shabbat and that I would protect their right to do so.
“It’s absurd to think that sexual orientation was even regarded as relevant,” Immerman said.
Among those who attended that Shabbat dinner was Ariel Friedlander, an American-born lesbian rabbi, and Rabbi Jeffrey Kamins, the senior rabbi of Emanuel Synagogue in Sydney.
The furor created “huge tension” among Australian Jewry, recalled Kamins, who was also a board member of Shalom at the time.
But gay Jews have become “hugely” enfranchised since then, Kamins said, noting that Emanuel was at the “vanguard and forefront.”
‘Mutual respect regardless of sexual orientation’
Indeed, the former Californian officiated at Australia’s first same-sex Jewish commitment service at Emanuel in 2008 – between Scott Whitmont and Christopher Whitmont-Stein – following a May 2007 decision by the Council of Progressive Rabbis of Australia, New Zealand and Asia.
However, Rabbi Mordechai Gutnick, president of the Organization of Rabbis of Australasia, countered at the time: “While we may and should be tolerant towards individuals, we certainly cannot sanctify something that our Bible clearly prohibits.”
Haaretz recently has learned the names of several Orthodox rabbis in Sydney and Melbourne who welcome individual gay Jews, but their names cannot be made public.
“Do 612 mitzvot and we won’t worry about the 613th,” one Orthodox rabbi told a gay congregant, according to Dayenu’s Gotlieb.
Kamins and Immerman agreed the general Jewish community is more open. “Gay Jews are less marginalized today,” Immerman said. “Most of the Jewish establishment has become more welcoming but I guess some segments of the community are more so than others.”
In 2010, the Executive Council of Australian Jewry adopted a resolution in 2010 calling for “mutual respect” regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity.
But the elected leadership acknowledged there is still “much work” to be done to “remove intolerance of and unlawful discrimination against gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender persons in the Jewish community.”
Intolerance and discrimination were widespread in Melbourne in 1999 when Michael Barnett led the first attempt by Aleph Melbourne, a Jewish GLBT support group, to apply for membership of the roof body, the Jewish Community Council of Victoria.
The move sparked an acrimonious debate ending with an impassioned plea by now-deceased Rabbi Ronald Lubofsky, who claimed if the motion passed it “may well be a turning point in our community,” and would result in the collapse of the council because Orthodox associates would be forced to resign.
“This JCCV has no right to meddle with the fundamentals of Judaism,” he said.
But Barnett argued that rejecting the group would be “a win for fear, intolerance and prejudice.” The motion was narrowly denied, 46-39, and the Jewish LGBT group has remained outside the tent ever since.
Barnett told Haaretz this week that the improved lot of gays in the general community affected the Jews as well. “The conversations seem to be less unacceptable now, given that homosexuality is more visible in wider society,” he said.
“It’s not something that can just be dismissed as ‘not our problem.’ It’s still taboo in the frum circles, and I suspect it’s pretty much spoken about in disparaging terms,” he added.
But while Reform and Conservative Judaism in Australia has embraced the gay community, Gotlieb wants to “challenge” for more inclusiveness.
“I would like to see more inclusion at Emanuel, more awareness that most gay people are somewhat distanced from their families,” he said.
There are still many Australian Jews whose view on gays is “personal and heartfelt and accepting,” he said. “But then they apologize that they are not able to express that publicly.”
The Australian Jewish News Sydney edition
Friday, March 23, 2012
AS I pack my belongings to make aliyah at the end of this month, I can’t help but look back at my move to Sydney just over a decade ago.when I moved here from London in 2001, I was still mostly in the closet. I was out to some of my friends, but had not told my parents I was gay. I knew back then that I wasn’t ready to tell them and that they weren’t ready to hear it, let alone accept it.
In reality, I led two lives, one with my partner and friends, and one for my family and job. Moving to Sydney, I knew nobody here aside from my partner. We wanted to meet people and I suggested we try and meet other gay and lesbian Jews. I had been involved in the Jewish Gay and Lesbian Group (JGLG) in London, where I had made some very good friends, so I searched and found Dayenu. On the night I arrived, we went to our first Dayenu event – a farewell party for one of the group’s organisers who was moving overseas.
The following Mardi Gras, I marched with Dayenu’s float in the parade. It was the third time Dayenu had participated. What an amazing experience it was! To this day, I have a photo on my shelf of me and my partner taken during that parade and it still puts a smile on face.
After that magical night I marched every year with Dayenu and was very disappointed in 2006 when no one stepped up to organise a float. Rather than march that year, I watched the parade for the first time, feeling a bit sad that there was no Jewish contingent. At the start of 2007, a friend sent an email around looking for people to help organise a float and I jumped at the chance.
Together with a group of guys, all called David, we built a float, designed and printed T-shirts and proudly marched up Oxford Street again with around 40 people.it was an amazing feeling to have actually helped organise the float and to see how many people were willing to come along and show their support. I have kept a copy of the article published in The AJN that year, and I remember how unnerving I found it at the time to have my name and face published. I still wasn’t completely at ease with my sexuality back then, although I had come out to my parents. They hadn’t taken the news well, so I sent them a copy of the article, hoping that they could understand how proud I was.
It was from there that I started organising regular Dayenu events. At first, monthly Shabbat dinners that started small, but over the years grew to 20-25 people each month. We also started to celebrate the major yamin tovim as a group, holding annual seders, Chanukah parties, Rosh Hashanah meals etc. Many Dayenu members are not native Sydneysiders and do not have any nearby family to go to for the yamim tovim, so Dayenu has become their adopted family.
In the years since 2007, we have started a Dayenu Facebook group and have attracted more than 200 members, and our Yahoo mailing list includes over 150 people. We held our first AGM in October 2010, and have had a series of very successful annual Mardi Gras Shabbat services and dinners at Emanuel Synagogue, which have filled the hall to capacity. The number of people joining us in the parade has grown consistently each year, now reaching more than 100.
Dayenu has become more visible, both in the GLBTI (gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and intersex) community and within the Jewish community. Since it began in 2000, it has shown the wider community that GLBTI Jews exist, and that we are proud of our religion and our sexuality. We have also worked hard to better integrate GLBTI Jews into the wider Jewish community, and make it a more accepting and welcoming place for us.
At this month’s Mardi Gras dinner, I was incredibly touched by the number of people who told me how Dayenu had been instrumental in their coming out. Meeting other GLBTI Jews gave them the strength to accept their sexuality, to come out to their family and friends and to live the life that they wanted to live. It takes considerable strength to come out to family when you know that they may be shocked by the news. It is well documented how rejection by family can have a devastating effect on young gay and lesbian people: tragically, some attempt suicide. It can take years for some families to accept their son or daughter’s sexuality, but thankfully most families, like mine, eventually realise that our lives and relationships can be equally as rewarding as heterosexual ones.
Dayenu has inspired me so much and I have met so many amazing and inspiring people. Many Dayenu members have shared their incredible stories with me; stories which all too often include rejection, hardship and abuse. Many explained how Dayenu brought hope and strength to their lives.
So it is with a heavy heart that I now step down as president of Dayenu as part of my move to Israel. I am hopeful that others will step forward to ensure that Dayenu continues to be a beacon of hope for GLBTI Jews.
